It’s not my fault they line up at the door. They catch my balls all right, two at a time sometimes, or even three. Believe me, everybody wins.
At least they did—until the video. I heard TMZ paid a million for a bird’s eye view of Homer on his A-game. The only folks who didn’t watch with eager eyes? Red Sox management. They want me benched, or worse, shipped off to rehab.
It’s a long story, what happens next. How I end up on a boat, bound for the world’s most remote island: Tristan da Cunha. Just a speck of dust in the Atlantic.
Except my heart is there.
I don’t know that when I step onto the boat.
I don’t know a lot of things.
What I’ll covet…
What I’ll lose…
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