About SUNDAYS ARE FOR HANGOVERS
For nearly a year, they’ve been at war. Cops. Forks. Eggs. Two feuding neighbors who couldn’t be more opposite, forced to live next door to one another. Neither is backing down. She drives him crazy with her loud nineties rap music. He gets under her skin the way he obsesses over his stupid lawn. She fantasizes about having sex with the sexy nerd—but with duct tape over his dumb mouth. He has dirty dreams of the bombshell beauty where he bangs the crazy right out of her—nightmares of course. Anger isn’t the only thing heating up between these two. They think this is a battle only one of them can win… The growing attraction between them, though, seems to be far more stubborn than the two of them combined.
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A sexy, sultry, familiar chuckle fills my speakers and I almost wreck my car. Lilith? What the hell? “Big D, I was busy,” she smarts off. “Busy with what? Your hair is dripping wet and you don’t have any makeup on. And wait…is that a hickey?” Big D says, clearly amused. She plays it off with a chuckle. “You say hickey, I say Tinderbite.” I growl as I think about those fuckers who came on my property looking for her. “Tinderbite?” Big D questions. “Do I even want to know what that means?” “It means…” she trails off. “Whatever. Don’t judge, D. Like you haven’t ever been late. Everyone is late. It’s Monday, for crying out loud. I bet half our listeners are late and sitting in traffic on the 295.” I crawl to a halt, indeed stuck in traffic on the 295. She continues, “In fact, let’s take some calls. What excuse are you giving your boss this morning for why you were late? Does it beat ‘I-was-trying-to-cover-my-Tinderbite-with-foundation-and-failed-miserably?’” Big D chuckles. “Okay, Lil, I’ll play your game. Let’s see what our listeners have to say. Call us at 555-732-WXOJ and let us know.” I dial the number and wait in a queue while a guy named Brandon complains he’s late because his neighbor’s lawn service blocked his driveway and he couldn’t get out. A lady named Gwen tells us about how her son had a blowout with his diaper and she had to bathe him before she could leave. Boring. Answer, dammit. “This is Big D,” he answers. “You’re on the air. Tell us why you’re late this morning.” “Hey, I’m Wonka. I’m late because I spent all night exorcising my crazy neighbor’s demons.” I yawn for effect. “It took up a lot of energy and I was exhausted this morning. Although, I could have been a little later to try one more time.” Big D snorts. “We’re calling it exorcising demons these days. That’s a new one. Thanks for calling in, buddy. We’ll take a new caller—” “Wait,” Lilith’s voice says. “I need to hear a little more of this story. She sounds like quite the temptation. Definitely worth sinning for.” Goddamn, she sounds so sultry on the air. My cock is hard. “She does love red,” I admit. “It looks pretty good on her. She just needs a saint to tame her evil ways.” She huffs. “I’m not—I’m sure she’s not evil. You sound kind of evil. Big D, he has an evil voice, doesn’t he? Probably does all kinds of crazy crap in his grandma’s basement.” I cringe because she’s not far off from the truth… Big D snorts. “Oh, I’m definitely a saint. This one is as evil as one can get. Would you believe, speaking of Tinder, she sent all her failed Tinder dates to my house. Who does that?” Big D laughs and Lilith lets out a hiss. “Sounds like you deserved it, to be honest,” she says. “If I were her, I’d fork your yard just for being a pompous little man.” “Little?” I choke out. “There is nothing little about me. In fact, she likes to call me Big Willy.” I pause for dramatics. “Like that big killer whale from the 90s movies. Also, she already forked my yard once.” Fuck how that shit pissed me off. Big D is laughing, but Lilith is riled up. “Usually, if someone goes as far as to buy fifty boxes of forks, they mean business. Their victim totally deserves it. Not to mention, she sounds quite dedicated. Do you know how long it takes to put over seven thousand forks in someone’s grass? All night, Wonka. All night.” I laugh. “Well, she definitely has stamina. You’re right about that.” "Pig,” she says. “Next caller.” “Actually,” Big D tells her chuckling. “Big boss man is waving behind you to keep talking. Apparently, the listeners are blowing up WXOJ’s Twitter feed. They want to know more about the naughty neighbor from hell.” “Ughhhhh,” she groans. “Do you have all day? Because I have so many stories. Would you know she ‘accidentally’ egged my house once?” I question. “Accidental eggings can so happen!” she argues. Big D roars with laughter. “And how’s that? Was she on her way to an Easter egg hunt and took a little tumble onto her neighbor’s porch?” “She probably was. You’re both pigs. Why are you siding with Not-So-Big Willy over here, D? I thought we were besties,” she says, irritation in her tone. “Aww, girl, you’ll always be my favorite. Tell us more, though, Mr. Wonka.” “She’s super crazy and obnoxious,” I explain to him. “But she kind of grows on you.” “She sounds delightful,” Lilith says. "A real peach,” Big D agrees with a snort. I hear her slap him and him say, “ow.” “I have a problem with her,” I tell them, growing serious. “What?” Lilith asks, hurt in her voice. “I wanted to ask her out, but she blew out of my house without giving me her number. Even though she’s borderline bananas, I’m quite fond of her cherry lips. What should I do?” I question. “Awww,” Big D replies. “She sounds sweet.” “Oh, she’s real sweet,” I agree. “Anywayyyy,” she draws out, embarrassment in her voice. “Maybe she’ll see him later since they’re neighbors and all.” “Maybe he can’t wait that long. Maybe he misses her already,” I mutter. Big D chuckles. “Well, maybe he should do a grand gesture like show up at her work and take her out. I bet she’s real fond of cheap beer and greasy cheese sticks. But, hey, aren’t all chicks that way?” “Well, I did learn where she works today,” I admit. “It’s a possibility. That would mean leaving work early, though, and I’m already late. I’m not really the kind of guy who lets his job slip to go on dates.” “Sounds like she might be worth it, though,” Big D says. “Right, Lil? She sounds worth it?” “Totally worth it. Bye now, Wonka. Good luck with all that. And now we have a song called ‘Creep’ by Radiohead. Seems fitting.” The connection ends and soon Thom Yorke’s voice fills the line. I’m grinning like an idiot. On the way to work, I plot out a plan to show a wild, colorful, vibrant woman like Lilith Hamilton that I know how to be fun too. I can be so fun.
About K Webster
K Webster is the USA Today bestselling author of over fifty romance books in many different genres including contemporary romance, historical romance, paranormal romance, dark romance, romantic suspense, taboo romance, and erotic romance. When not spending time with her hilarious and handsome husband and two adorable children, she’s active on social media connecting with her readers. Her other passions besides writing include reading and graphic design. K can always be found in front of her computer chasing her next idea and taking action. She looks forward to the day when she will see one of her titles on the big screen. Join K Webster’s newsletter to receive a couple of updates a month on new releases and exclusive content. To join, all you need to do is go here.
About J.D. Hollyfield
J.D. Hollyfield is a creative designer by day and superhero by night. When she’s not cooking, event planning, or spending time with her family, she’s relaxing with her nose stuck in a book. With her love for romance, and her head full of book boyfriends, she was inspired to test her creative abilities and bring her own stories to life. Living in the Midwest, she’s currently at work on blowing the minds of readers, with the additions of her new books and series, along with her charm, humor and HEA’s.
J.D. Hollyfield dabbles in all genres, from romantic comedy, contemporary romance, historical romance, paranormal romance, fantasy and erotica! Want to know more! Follow her on all platforms!